Tuesday, 30 December 2014

Let's Play: Final Fantasy VIII - Part Seventy Six

 Part Seventy Five


 Day Thirty Two: This Guy Never Shuts The Hell Up

 Sorry guys, but my frustration with Odine has robbed me of my ability to come up with a clever title.

 I'm going to boil a bunch of stuff down to its most basic because there is a lot of crap to get through here, and I want to show you part of Odine's massive ramble in order to make entirely clear how long he talks for.

 Okay, so once they get into the Presidential Palace, past the gliding woman and the men with invisible guns, they meet up with Laguna, Kiros and Ward.

I make these things up depressingly rarely
 For some reason, Laguna isn't dressed in the traditional wear of Esthar, but Kiros and Ward are.

 This section is what I like to call 'the backstory section', Laguna talks about how the times Ellone put Zog and Co into his, Ward's and Kiros' heads gave them power and explains a few things about Ellone's backstory.

 Her parents were killed during the hunt for a successor for Adel, and she ended up with Raine. This is how Laguna got to know her.

 After she was taken and Laguna found her, he sent her back to Winhill because the people of Esthar needed him. Shortly after this, Raine died.

 Okay, just quickly, why didn't he send for Raine and bring her to Esthar?

 That way he'd know that they'd both be safe while he was trying to sort things out.

 But nope, he did the stupid thing and Ellone ended up in the orphanage where the SeeD/White SeeD nonsense started.

 As for now, Galbadia has her.

 Joy, the search for this woman begins anew.

  I tried to get some backstory on Raine, but Laguna deferred, making me wonder why I even had the option.

 So this time I just decided to get on with things, this is where Odine comes in.

 Needlessly long story short: The entire reason that Ultimecia can possess people in the past and wants Ellone in the first place is because Odine made a machine that copied Ellone's brain patterns and therefore her abilities.

 He reasons that in the future, the machine is more powerful.

 It makes him happy.

 Like the dick he is.

 So, now we now what's going on, we need a plan, which Odine is happy to share.


 There iz only one way to defeat Ultimecia. You must kill her in ze future.

 There iz nothing we can do unless we go to ze future.

 There is no way to jump to ze future under normal circumstance.

 But there iz still a way!

 It iz because Sorceress Ultimecia plans to compress time.

 Compressing time with magic… vat good will it do for ze sorceress to compress time?

 There may be a reason, but it doesn’t matter.

 Let’s just figure out vat Ultimecia iz up to.

 In order for Ultimecia to exist in this time, she must take over ze body of a sorceress from ze present.

 But ze machine must have a limit. Ultimecia probably needs to go back further in time to achieve time compression.

 Only Ellone can can take her back further into the past. Zat iz why she is deperatly seeking her.

 We must take advantage of Ellone’s power.

 There are 2 sorceresses in our time. Sorceress Nina and Sorceress Adel.

 Of the two, Adel has not awakened yet. Once regeneration is completed, neither Laguna or I will be safe.

 Sorceress Adel is probably in ze process of awakening inside Lunatic Pandora.

 Ultimecia will want to possess Adel if Adel wakes up.

 Zat vill be a horrible event. Adel iz a horrible sorceress.

 If Adel’s consciousness wins over Ultimecia. Adel will first destroy this era.

 So we must use Sorceress Nina to inherit Ultimecia’s powers.

 Zat’s all for the mission briefing.

 First, go to Lunatic Pandora. Ellone’s probably being held captive inside, so rescue her first.

 Then kill Sorceress Adel before ze awakening process is completed.

 Now we’re left with the Nina as ze only Sorceress of the era.

 Then wait for Ultimecia to possess Nina. When Ultimecia arrives, it’s Ellone’s turn.

 Ellone will send Nina back to ze past with Ultimecia.

 Ellone will have to send Nina and Ultimecia inside another sorceress she knows in the past.

 Edea or Adel… zat’s up to Ellone.

 Once Ultimecia iz in ze past, she’ll use ze time compression magic.

 We will see some influence here.

 I don’t know vat kind of influence, but once Ellone feels it, she’ll cut Nina and Ultimecia off from ze past.

 Nina will come back to this world. Ultimecia also goes back to her own world.

 Vat would be left is ze time compresses world. Past, present and future will all get mixed together.

 You will keep moving through ze time compression toward ze future.

 Once you’re out of ze time compression, zat will be Ultimecia’s world. It’s all up to you after zat.

 I love how completely inconsistent this guy's accent is.

 This whole ramble is four hundred and thirty two words long, and is presented entirely in text boxes.


 Right, so to try and make sense of this.

 Instead of destroying all his records and machines that resulted from his experiments on Ellone, his plan involves murdering two women (one of whom wants him dead), the use of at least two other women with sheltered upbringings (one of whom he experimented on) who have been presented with no other option, and the potential use of a fifth woman (who lost years of her life because of the machine he made) in a different time period against her will. (Assuming that Ellone puts Ultimecia and Nina into Edea instead of helping to screw Adel over twice.)

 It has been brought up to me that my plan would create a paradox, but this is a risk that I'm willing to take.

 (Also, I'm not convinced that this whole mess doesn't already involve a paradox.)

 I'm pretty certain that allowing Ultimecia to get everything she wants and then killing her is a terrible, terrible plan. I'm sure that there's a much more elegant and less misogynistic way to do this.

 Besides, this is fiction, we can do what we like as long as we show our working.

 So, after we've all decided that this insane plan is our best shot, everyone piles into the Ragnarok and Laguna goes over the plan again. Presumably because Odine's ramble was so disjointed that it's entirely plausible that a player just wouldn't understand what the hell he was talking about.

 After this, he gets the spasms in his leg again.

 I may have another crack at the Ultima Weapon now that I've got Nina back, but I've yet to decide.

 Either way, Part Seventy Seven will be up soon.

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