Wednesday 7 May 2014

Let's Play: Final Fantasy VIII - Part Eleven

Cut me some slack, my tablet is broken
Part Ten

Masterpost

Day Five: The President's Speech

 You know, on reflection, the mentions of the Galbadian army's horrible pay practices may actually be a poorly put together running gag.


Poor guy.
 Because this game needs more attempts to turn what is a horrific world into something light and fluffy.

 Oh, speaking of horror, I went for a quick explore of Timber before I went to the TV station.

 One of the places I went was the Timber Maniacs office, which was populated by journalists who did recognise the terrible state of affairs the world was in. Zog also tried to see if the editor remembered anything about Laguna, since the guy did mention that he wanted to be a reporter to Julia during his monologue. He didn't have any luck, but the editor also went on a long ramble before we could discern that he didn't know anything.

 Someone in Square Enix really had it in for journalists during the development of this game.

 Not so horrific, if you aren't terrified of rambling journalists, but the house next door kind of was.

 The lady of the house seems to be in a rather... volatile relationship with her husband, and her daughter not only admires this, she wants a husband she can scream at and hit too.

 It gets worse.

 If you go upstairs, you can look out of their window at an alleyway you need to go down later. The two boys up there want to charge you for it, so I said that was fine. I had money to burn, and I've paid for stupider things in video games.

 Thing is, when I was done, their mum came upstairs and not only told them off for charging people but also hit one of them right in front of Zog and Co.

 Yet no one seemed to care.

 Well, I do suppose it makes no sense for child soldiers to have a problem with child abuse really, does it?

 -Le sigh-

 After going through some pointless kerfuffle where you need to work out what drink a drunkard wants that played like an Edna and Harvey game, you finally do get to the alleyway and make your way to the TV station.

 While just outside the TV station, Zog and Co. stop to watch a giant TV showing Deling's speech to the world, reasonably large chunks of which would be totally unable to see it and even if they could, they'd have to know to tune in first. Well, unless he's got a Batman villain on staff, which he might.

 During this, Zog and Nina get into a discussion of what to do next and Nina says this:

Oh, fuck right the hell off.
 You hired mercenaries! This is what they do! You fucking knew that and hired them because you knew they'd do what you said!

 Why the living hell would they give two shits about what's going on in Timber!? They aren't from Timber! They have no fucking investment apart from the fact that:



 They're paid professionals, just like you said your fucking self you stupid, selfish, air headed cow!

...

 Then the speech starts and Seifer interrupts taking the President hostage.

 Quistis shows up too, and our heroes rush in to see what's going on.

 Quistis attempts to talk Seifer down, but it doesn't really work and then Zell manages to make things monumentally worse by saying what Garden they were from during an international broadcast. Like a total newb.

 Which he is.

 It's also pretty much confirmed that Seifer is Nina's boyfriend during this bit.

 After all this, Seifer drags the President backstage where he runs into a mysterious lady person.

 She calls him a boy a ridiculous number of times during this conversation, well past the point where it's gotten creepy.

An example.
 The poor lad seems to fall for it and lets the President go, leaving with the lady with a nautilus glued to the side of her head.

 The gang see this departure, although Nina is not with them.

 The first thing she asks is where Seifer is and I have to wonder about her priorities. They're a bit all over the place.

 When she does finally ask what happened to the President, I'm flabbergasted, as he ran off in the direction she came from. A classic example of pulling an Aerith right there.

 So after this monumental cock up, they all retreat to the violent lady's house where the seemingly impossible happens.

 Zog apologises to someone of his own volition.

 Nina, I take back everything I said about you, please teach my your hypnotic ways.

 While we're here, we learn that Seifer broke out of the detention cell he'd be stuck in at Balamb Garden and rushed all the way to Timber when he learned that Zog and Co. had been sent to do this job. I'm not entirely sure if he was more worried about Nina or Zog and Co., but he was worried about somebody and that's why he's still my pick for best character so far. Also, he's the only one who seems concerned about a bunch of inexperienced teenagers being sent to fight a resistance movement's battle against the dominant superpower and its incredibly powerful military.

 Speaking of, Zog and Co. need to get out of Dodge in a hurry, so Zone arranges some train tickets for them. Originally he only had one for Nina and three for the SeeDs, but oh no, Quistis is there too.

 The problem is swiftly solved when he gives her his ticket and runs off.

 Quistis later mentions that she should thank him sometime and, for reasons I cannot fathom, Nina tells her that Zone likes dirty magazines.

...Okay?

 They take the train out of Timber to get off at a stop which is within walking distance on the world map. I know, because I accidentally went back into Timber when I was trying to find the forest to take me to Galbadia Garden so that Zog and Co. could figure out what to to next.

 I did finally manage to find it, only for Zog, Selphie and Quistis to pass out after Nina has a justified go at Zog for being an awful leader.

 Now at this point I feel the need to point out that the game is a massive dick, because I didn't have Quistis in my party when I got to the forest. I had Zell, and therefore I had a whole bunch of stuff junctioned to him. This is a problem because the game basically treats Laguna and Co. like they're the same characters as Zog's battle party when it comes to junctions.

 Laguna has Zog's and Kiros has Selphie's. Ward, however, has sweet F.A. because I wasn't using Quistis in my party when we transitioned to weird dream/vision land.

 Grah, grah and triple grah.

 How was I supposed to see this coming?

 Apparently through psychic powers because there was no clue who would be knocked out this time. I actually assumed it would be Zell, since he was last time.

 Anyway, long story short, Laguna and Co. travel through some kind of facility and crystally caverns fighting soldiers from a place named Esthar.

 Also, these things:

They look like they're having some sort of fit when they're
low on health.
 Phew, I finally finished Day Five.

 Tomorrow's post will be dedicated to the long anticipated Day Six. Hope to see you there.

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