Let's Play: Final Fantasy VIII - Part Eight

Part Seven

Masterpost

Day Five: Cramping Zog's Style

It's at this point in the game that I decide that AVALANCHE would have been far more successful if they'd had Laguna on board.

 Why?

 Because he managed to do this:

This stretches back over four different screens

 Without even trying.

 If he lived in Midgar, they could just get Tifa to hit on him and watch the chaos ensue.

 Speaking of woman who work in bars, it turns out that his motive for going to this bar wasn't drunken make outs with Kiros.

 Well, it was a long shot anyway.

 The actual reason he ditched what his squad was ordered to do and dragged his men back to Deling City was because he wanted to see a girl.

 Her name is Julia, and she looks like this:

That was my reaction too

 What the hell is wrong with her arms?!

 I mean, seriously, look at her!

 This problem isn't restricted to just her arms, her entire character model looks weird. I don't know why this would be the case.

 Yeah, the female characters look a bit odd in comparison to the male ones, as they tend to have less bulk around their upper arms to hide the joint (which you think would have been factored into their designs but no). Yet on the rest of them it doesn't look this bad. I can't decide whether her arms are too thin, or her ribcage too large.

 Also, what the hell is wrong with her dress? The straps don't really achieve anything aside from making her look even odder.

 I don't usually look up images before I write one of these, but I did this time to see if there was an FMV with Julia in later down the line where I could judge what her arms were meant to be like. Alas, there wasn't one that I could find.

 But I did find something even better.

 I found pictures of people cosplaying her.

 And believe me, those straps look even sillier and more uncomfortable on a real person.

 Anyway, before my rant lasts all day, I want to mention something about the bit just before Julia McNoodleArms shows up.

 In the previous play session I noticed that Laguna and Co. seemed somewhat aware that something was happening to them. They had no idea what, but they knew something was up.

 In this section, it becomes apparent that they can hear what Zog and Co. are saying.

 Or, at least, Laguna can sense when Zog is saying something.

 Here's a good example: in order to progress you need to take up the seats that Laguna and Co. usually do. To do this you need to talk to a waitress, and when you do, you are given these options:

I am not keen on this decor

 Grey denotes that the bottom option is actually Zog's response. If you take this too many times, Laguna actually shouts 'what?' and scares the waitress off to hide by the bar.

 This is a great little touch and I really like it.

 So after scaring the life out of the poor woman, you can follow her and actually take the seats instead of yelling at her.

 This section is where we get to see Laguna moon over Julia and her weird dress, and then he goes up to talk to her after his wingmen egg him on.

 And he gets a sudden leg cramp and has to limp back to his seat.

 Where he gets teased by Kiros and Ward.

Yeah, but that's generally true of anyone standing next to Ward.
His manliness outshines all others

 Thankfully for him, Julia isn't put off by Laguna's strange leg cramps and general social oddness. It probably helps that he's good looking with nice hair and practically radiates earnestness.

 Once she's finished playing piano (for about two minutes, mind you), she comes over an chats to Laguna before inviting him up to her room for more conversation.

 So far it's all pretty chaste and adorable.

 They talk about their hopes and dreams. Or rather, Julia mentions that she'd like to be a singer but doesn't make the cut because she's not very good at writing lyrics (which... isn't necessary) and Laguna talks forever about what seems like every single thing he can think of. He does manage to say that he'd like to be a journalist somewhere in all this.

 It's all rather chaste and innocent.

 Well, except for this bit right here.

 Team Julia for life.

 So once these two have chatted the night away, the vision/dream ends and our intrepid heroes, and Zog, wake up.

 Oddly, Zog wakes up last, which I find mildly interesting.

 Once he's back on his feet, he internally monologues this:

I know everyone and their mother has already made this joke,
but that doesn't mean I'm not going to

 Just dreamt, Zog?

 The trio have a short discussion of their fainting spell which begins with Selphie remarking "But seriously, Sir Laguna was sooo cool!".

 Which seems like a poor choice on the part of the translators.

 I can only presume from what she says that the original Japanese line was about 'Laguna-sama', which makes sense. She fancies Laguna and in Japan it is not uncommon to apply a more noble honorific to someone that you fancy.

 Of course, this isn't what we do in English, so the line just looks really weird. No one calls someone 'Sir Name' unless the man in question is a knight, or the speaker is being sarcastic.

 The only possible excuse would be if this is the standard form of address for Galbadian soldiers, but I seriously doubt that.

 The discussion they have does manage to nail down that they all had the same dream, but they decide not to dwell on it because they've got a mission to complete!

 So they'll alight at Timber station in the next post, Part Nine - Day Five: I'm Yelling Timber