Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Guest Post: Murphy Rants About... The Apprentice S10E11

 Sorry about the lack of post on Tuesday, I think I might be coming down with something.

 There will be a post tomorrow.

 Now that housekeeping is dealt with, let's go over to Murphy for his weekly rant about The Apprentice.
They're a very Power Rangers-esque group at this point.
  Ah, interview week. The best of all weeks.

 We’ll do a contestant by contestant run down.

 Bianca easily did the best this week. While she struggled with one particularly cruel interviewer questioning her character, and had a period of self doubt that resulted in her crying during an interview (although she was still very charming), the interviewers really liked both her and her business plan, and one of them pointed out that he had contacted a fashion editor and they said there was definitely a gap in the market. Her business idea - tights selling nude colours for a range of ethnicities and skin tones - is both lucrative and fulfils a social need.

 Solomon and Roisin probably did the worst, which is always alarming when Daniel is there.

 In Solomon’s case, the interviewers were divided on how much they liked him - notoriously brutal Claude loved him, while a few of the others thought he was immature - but they all agreed that his business plan, which was 50% boat pictures, was not a good one. He got thrown out of Claude’s office on account of it being a disgrace, and nearly walked into a window as he left. He was also asked to pitch some of the ideas on his phone to a condescending baby boomer, and yet did not suggest ‘murder all baby boomers,’ showing that I have at least one idea better than him.

 Roisin, meanwhile, was well-liked on a personal level, but her business was a shambles, falling apart on money (she’ll run out after two months), on concept (her unique ingredient is already widely used), and just on the basic facts of what it takes to get a product onto supermarket shelves, and how difficult that is.

 Mark seemed mostly liked by the interviewers, who described him as ‘serious’, ‘determined’, and ‘eerily Antipodean, I don’t - I don’t like it, m’lord, I don’t like it.’ His business plan, however, was liked a whole lot less, being described as ‘bland’, ‘nothing new’ and ‘seriously, I mean, he lives upside down, m’lord. Like a bat. You can’t trust a man like that, you can’t.’

 (Reecey hates SEOs, by the way. She hates them.)

 Daniel is always shambolic and ridiculous, and this week was no different. Early on, he was caught out as having lied on his CV - he claimed to have been awarded salesman of the year at his last company, despite the fact that his company doesn’t even have such an award. He tried to counter by shouting about how honest he was. Also, the interviewers did not much like his business plan. He was described as being ‘obsessed’ with being a salesman (despite being only the sixth best salesman in the competition), and that while his business wouldn’t work, he’d die trying with it.

 In the end, Solomon was the first to go, with Roisin quickly following. Daniel and Mark took the opportunity to have a petty squabble in the boardroom, while Bianca managed to defend her idea excellently, resulting in Daniel being the third to leave the process in this episode, leaving Bianca and Mark.

 Well, personally, I’m Team Bianca now.

 Also, next week sees Sarah and James coming back. Oh. Good.

 (Why do they keep saying that Lord Sugar’s search for his apprentice continues? Two people is not a search. He’s not roaming the streets, hunting down his apprentice.)

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