Wednesday, 27 August 2014

I am livid.

 What about?

 Wait, what?

 Cake has gotten you enraged?


Oh, my sweet summer children.

 It wasn't cake. It was ice cream.

 A little back story.

 Last year during the Great British Bake off a situation occurred that us fans lovingly refer to as 'Custardgate'.

 During the Signature Bake round, the contestants were required to make the old British classic dessert of trifle, which involved making a layer of custard. A contestant named Deborah accidentally took the custard of another contestant (named Howard) from the fridge they were both using and put it in her trifle.

 Once the error was realised, she immediately owned up, apologised profusely and was totally mortified.

 The judges were told and judged accordingly. Howard was given due credit for his traditionally made custard, and Deborah's gloopy custard was criticised. She took this criticism with grace and decorum.

 So that's what accidental sabotage looked like last year on the Great British Bake Off.

 This year was a whole other story.

 Iain, the charming Irish builder, made his black sesame seed ice cream and put it in the freezer to set.

This russet Gandalf in the making.
 Diane took it out and left it on the side because she wanted to use that space in the freezer.

 The temperature that day? Twenty five degrees Celsius (or seventy seven degrees Fahrenheit for you Americans reading this).

 So of course his ice cream turned into a melted mess.

 He got so upset, because it was in no fit state to show anyone that he threw everything in the bin and stormed out of the tent to calm down.

 So that's what happened.

 Diane sabotaged his baked Alaska and he got so upset that he couldn't stand the thought of anyone seeing that mess.

 Do you know what the worst part is?

 He got kicked out of the show because he threw everything away.

 Or rather, because Diane was a totally remorseless cow.

 Unlike Deborah, she didn't admit what she did was wrong, she wasn't mortified, and she has to have known what she was doing.

 And it wasn't salvageable.

 She ruined his Showstopper and he was the one who got kicked out?

 Did nobody fucking tell Mary and Paul what had happened? Because if they knew this is a fucking injustice.

 I can only hope that this mess will be fixed by next week. If not, I don't know if I'll be able to continue watching one of my favourite programmes.

 I'm that angry.

 Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to have another cup of calming tea.

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