Wednesday, 4 June 2014

Platformers and my love hate relationship with them.

 Ah platformers, one of the most basic forms of video games.

This is Scarygirl. It's cute and I'm bad at it.
 Also one that I am universally awful at.

 I've played and owned a lot of platformers in my day. Sonic, Tiny Toons Adventures, Kirby's Dreamland, Jazz Jackrabbit and Kellogg's Mission Nutrition (shut up, it was a classic) when I was but a wee lass and once I got older I tried many more.

 Games like Kirby's Nightmare in Dreamland, Mario Sunshine, Super Mario Bros. 3 and many more.

 In fact, I've tried more now than I did when I was little.

The Misadventures of P.B. Winterbottom is
 clever and funny and it rhymes and I love it.
Yet I'm still awful at it.
 Mostly because when I was little the games I played were ones we were lent or given, or came free with our PC when we first got one (I played a lot of FIFA World Cup '98 when I was little, and I do mean a lot).

 For a long time, Kirby's Nightmare in Dreamland was the only platformer I owned that worked properly (I still have my apparently broken copy of Lady Sia).

 These days I buy video games more often, especially on Steam, so I find myself being lured in by the siren song of platformers more often.


If I wanted first person jumping puzzles, Quantum Conundrum,
I'd download an adventure map for Minecraft.
Your clever dialogue won't make me forgive you.
 Well, pretty much entirely because I like the premise and/or art direction of the game. Sometimes it's because it's a classic and I wanted to give it a go.

 It's usually the premise and/or art direction. Because platforming is such a basic gameplay method, it reacts well to innovation. It also can be the basis for some amazing stories, the sky can be the limit for epic, surreal or introspective adventures in platforming.

 It's for these reasons that I'm a little bit in love with the genre.

The final level in Psychonauts is worse than Hitler.
 Want to know how many platformers I've actually finished?

 That would be one.

 Kirby's Dreamland for the Game Boy and I've only completed the A game. The B game is too hard for me.

 Kirby's Dreamland was intended as an introduction into platformers for children.

 I'm so bad that I have difficulty with the first few levels of Super Mario Bros. 3.

 Yet my ability to finish games like this has done nothing to abate my desire to buy and play them.

This one in Alice: Madness Returns is more like Stalin.
 I'm just too attached to Raz to not attempt to pre-order Psychonauts 2 the second Broken Age is finished. I'm too fascinated by the premise of Thomas Was Alone to resist it for long. The Floor Is Jelly looks like just plain fun and at some point I'm bound to succumb to the desire to play as legendary bounty hunter Samus Aran.

 Oh well, c'est la vie.

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